People who knew me before being a mom, especially friends without kids, often ask me if I am enjoying being a mom. What do I get from being a mom, now my daughter has come along? To the first question I’d unhesitatingly answer yes! Yes, I love being a mom. Sure, it’s hard work, and I’m not one of those natural mothers that seems to love every late night feed or nappy change, but I can honestly say I wouldn’t want to go back to how things were before.
But then, when it came to answering the second question I’d get stuck. I try and reflect on things when I can, but in this case not enough to give a good answer for this question. I’d fob it off by saying something like “there’s just so many little things” – which is kind of true but if I was being honest I couldn’t really elaborate. Sure, I loved being a mom, but why?
So I decided to think about it. And here, in this entry, is why I love being a mom: my favorite things:
1. The love I feeling she inspires in me
People usually love their parents, so I thought I had some sort of understanding of the emotions that would emerge when my daughter came along. Boy, how wrong I was. The love I feel for my daughter is a love so different and intense that I can’t really describe it. It’s like every day I wake up, see my beautiful girl, and fall a little bit more in love. I can’t do justice with words how I feel when my baby looks at me and smiles, or nestles to get comfortable when she’s sleeping on me. It’s special.
2. A sense of purpose.
A sense of purpose really flows from the love I feel, but to me they are two separate things. Because of that love I feel a strong drive to do the things that my daughter needs of me. It’s a motivation I haven’t had for anything or anyone else but I guess when – literally – someone’s life depends on me it’s easy to take it to a new level. Even when I am tired or feeling a little bit down about things, this drive helps me to focus and get things done, and even doing mundane things (even things I really do not like, like diaper changes) fills me with satisfaction in knowing I’m giving my daughter what she needs.
It surprises me how much this sense of purpose means to me, but now I’ve identified it, it does give me a lot of joy.
3. Listening to my baby’s laughter
There’s nothing in this world, I’ve realised, like a child’s laughter. When a baby or young child finds something funny they don’t hold back. It’s like the funniest thing they’ve ever seen. And when they see it 30 seconds later its the same reaction all over again. In short, its a demonstration of pure, unrestrained, joy and it’s so beautiful to behold that I love to make the time just to sit with my daughter and make her laugh and smile as we play. Her joy becomes my joy; it’s really infectious like that.
4. Having an excuse just to be
It’s not just trying to trigger an outpouring of joy that I make time for. It’s any activity we can do together. Before my baby came along I was rarely just being there in the moment. And when I was it tended to be a bit hedonistic and could often come with a hangover. But a baby is always in the moment, because they don’t know any other way. And when I spend time bonding with my baby I let myself just enough it, because it’s important enough not to think about other things at the same time. I just sit or lie or roll with her and just be, without wanting anything more. And that’s pretty special.